Expectations
In the series of preparation talks we had for the year abroad something that was mentioned repeatedly was 'managing your expectations'. At the time, I mistook this advice for condescension but now it's something that I think about everyday. Whilst it is exciting not knowing what to expect from the next few days, weeks, and months, moving from one day to the next encompasses a mountain of paradoxes - mood swings, spending entire days and nights surrounded by people to spending the following day not speaking to anyone, and exploring alone. It's difficult moving from home, from a support network, to somewhere where I feel as if I could disappear and no one would realise.
Having been through freshers before I thought I was well-equipped for the newness that this experience would present, but that was naive. Nothing can prepare you for the shock of moving abroad by yourself, which is ironic because what precedes a year abroad is months of preparation. I arrived at university expecting to meet my best friends on the first night, and I feel as if I have made this very mistake again. I expect too much from everyday, when really you have to remember that this is normal life, and whilst living in a foreign country invites a rose-tinted perspective it's important to see things as they are. It's ok to cry in the library toilets, it's ok to stay in and watch Bob's Burgers, it's ok to feel stressed. Welcome to life!
Sometimes I feel so frustrated that I'm not grasping the language or that I'm not making friends quickly enough. But getting upset with myself for making mistakes, or for being awkward in social situations (which I would normally do in English anyway), is redundant. But it's easy to chastise yourself for not being on form 100% of the time. I want to make the most of everyday, of every interaction I have, because I only have a limited time here.
The difficulty (and irony) in this is finding a balance between seeing things realistically and remaining positive in the process.
Having been through freshers before I thought I was well-equipped for the newness that this experience would present, but that was naive. Nothing can prepare you for the shock of moving abroad by yourself, which is ironic because what precedes a year abroad is months of preparation. I arrived at university expecting to meet my best friends on the first night, and I feel as if I have made this very mistake again. I expect too much from everyday, when really you have to remember that this is normal life, and whilst living in a foreign country invites a rose-tinted perspective it's important to see things as they are. It's ok to cry in the library toilets, it's ok to stay in and watch Bob's Burgers, it's ok to feel stressed. Welcome to life!
Sometimes I feel so frustrated that I'm not grasping the language or that I'm not making friends quickly enough. But getting upset with myself for making mistakes, or for being awkward in social situations (which I would normally do in English anyway), is redundant. But it's easy to chastise yourself for not being on form 100% of the time. I want to make the most of everyday, of every interaction I have, because I only have a limited time here.
The difficulty (and irony) in this is finding a balance between seeing things realistically and remaining positive in the process.
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